


In Dreams

by Active_Imagination



Category: The Following
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Episode Related, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3662181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Active_Imagination/pseuds/Active_Imagination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tell me something, Ryan. Your dreams, am I in them?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ryan's POV

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of that Reunion in S03E06.

Joe is looking for a response, and I shouldn't give it to him. I should just keep on walking out that door, but I can't help but pause and look back, remembering, dreams I'd rather forget. 

I want out, knocking on the door for the guard to release me, not a moment too soon. Too late. He's already gotten under my skin. And the dreams come flooding back to me.

I remember dreaming being with Claire, naked and curled up in her bed, the bed she shared with Joe. I was so happy, feeling like I finally belonged, with the woman I loved and somehow she loved me back. I remember savoring every kiss, feeling at peace, until I opened my eyes to find her body, blood soaking the sheets, feeling like it was staining me. But Joe was there, promising to help me get clean, crawling on top of me, consuming me, until I was able to get away, looking into the mirror to find his face staring back.

Or the dream where Gwen is pregnant. I've been getting that dream more and more lately. The dream where I kiss her belly whenever I kiss her. In my dreams I know I'd be a good father. I'm determined not to screw this up. Then I get the call, seeing it, but unable to stop it. Joe, taking a knife to Gwen, cutting out the baby boy from her womb and taking him to raise as his own.

There's more, so many, swimming in my mind, making me feel dizzy. Death and desire blurring together, but one feeling clings to me. Joe made me feel special, alive. And it's that which sends me rushing to the washroom, throwing up into the bowl. In my dreams, I don't realize that only a monster could love me. Awake, I remember that five girls died because I was too distracted by a fantasy to see the reality. 

I don't want to admit it, not even to myself, but yes. My dreams consist of Carroll and corpses. 

I try not to sleep any more.


	2. Joe's POV

I am in his dreams, I can tell. His dreams fill him with shame. Mine, do not. 

Since Ryan didn't kill me, since he chose to send me to this prison instead: dreams are all I have. 

The thrill of the kill is just as intense in my dreams, strangling my victims whilst I know Ryan is close behind me. Ryan can never catch me out in my dreams. He only catches me if I let him. Which sometimes I do. And it is beautiful.

Even after all this time I can still recall every inch of his skin, pulled tight over slight muscle, scars patching it together. I can't help but wonder if Ryan has gained more scars since I last saw him, hidden under those suits of his. I'm not sure if I'm jealous, or angry at that thought. In my dreams, nobody gets to touch Ryan but me.

I do have the occasional bad dream, I must admit. I used to dream that Ryan had died and I had not, and that is why he hadn't come to visit me. I bled whilst he bled out, and without Ryan, I faded away. I lived, but without Ryan it was a pointless existence. He was the only one to truly see me, even when he didn't know it was me. It should not have taken him so long to see me as it did.

Still, I forgive him. He's come to realize how much he needs me. It was inevitable, no matter how much he fights it. Although, he wouldn't be Ryan if he didn't try to protest. 

I know I'll be seeing him again. Until that time, I will try to sleep. 

Ryan and I always find each other in my dreams. I wish I could sleep forever.


End file.
